how to become emotionally strong

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how to become emotionally strong

Life is a series of stories, and each one of us has a unique story to tell. There are billions upon billions of stories, and no two are exactly the same. If the story of your life has been filled with more sad moments than happy ones, it’s time to change that, and the best place to start is by building emotional strength

You have the power to create the life you want. One crucial skill that will help you get there is learning how to become emotionally strong. The good news is emotional strength is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it becomes.

“Once you believe you are strong emotionally, you will unconsciously act stronger than before and begin to take control over your emotional whims.” –Senora Roy

In this article, you’ll learn how to be strong emotionally. Here’re 17 things people with emotional strength don’t do. Learn from these and start creating the existence you’ve always imagined for yourself.

  1. They Don’t Beg for Attention
    Emotional strength means confidence, and confident people don’t need to constantly be the center of attention. They’re comfortable in their own skin and are able to share the spotlight when necessary. Because they feel good about themselves, they don’t need the approval of others.
  2. They Don’t Allow Others to Bring Them Down
    People with emotional strength ignore the haters and the naysayers. They weed these people out and surround themselves with positive people instead.

This doesn’t mean that they don’t feel negative emotions when someone says something hurtful. They are simply able to hold those negative thoughts with love and acceptance, work through the pain, and move on.

  1. They Don’t Stop Believing in Themselves
    “Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C’s: They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.” –Walt Disney

Soak up these amazing words from Walt Disney because belief is the most essential quality of emotional strength. When you work from a place of self-confidence, each failure becomes a lesson that continues to propel you toward a better future.

  1. They Are Not Afraid to Love
    “Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World.” –Paulo Coelho

People who possess emotional strength have experienced heartbreak, but it doesn’t hold them back; it makes them stronger. Just because you’ve been hurt doesn’t mean you should shut love out of your life.

Open up your heart and embrace vulnerability. The love you find will be worth everything you go through to get it.

  1. They’re Not Afraid of Slowing Down
    Sometimes you need to take a step back and slow it down when you’ve been pushing yourself too hard in order to manage stress. Having drive is great, but not at the expense of your health and well-being.

When people with emotional strength are feeling overwhelmed, they allow time for reflection and relaxation in order to maintain a sense of focus and positivity and improve their mental health.

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  1. They Refuse to Be a Victim of Circumstance
    Being emotionally strong means refusing to make excuses. Everyone is born into different circumstances and receive a different starting line in life. People with emotional strength don’t feel bad about where they’ve started; they look forward and try to find the best way to get where they want to go.

Leave the past behind you and focus on getting a little better every day.

  1. They Don’t Have a Problem Saying No
    Saying no is one of the most important things you’ll ever learn how to do[1]. When you learn how to say no, you’ll make time for the things that really matter to you. Focus on your top priorities and say no to all the stuff that’s wasting your time.
  2. They Don’t Back Down From Challenges
    Emotionally strong people see challenges as opportunities to grow and improve their life. Challenges happen for a reason, and only when we have overcome them will we understand why they were there.
  3. They Don’t Do Things They Don’t Want to Do
    If you want to keep your emotional balance and sanity intact, do what you love. Get rid of baggage and commitments that are making you miserable.

People with emotional strength know that spending their very limited time doing things that make them miserable is the best way to waste their life.

  1. They Don’t Forget That Happiness Is a Decision
    People who have learned how to be strong emotionally know that happiness is a choice. They understand the things they need to really be happy. They choose a life of simplicity, productivity, and passion.

Furthermore, they practice gratitude in their everyday life in order to focus on each of the good things they have in the present moment. This helps them build mental strength for when they need to face difficult times.

  1. They Don’t Waste Time
    Abraham Lincoln said,

“It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

Mentally strong people don’t waste time doing mindless activities. They live mindfully in the present, enjoying every day as if it’s their last. They spend their time on things that are important to them and things that will help them achieve their goals in the long run.

  1. They Aren’t Afraid to Ask for Help
    Every single one of the great minds in history, from Einstein to Edison, had help along the way. You can’t do it all alone, and it takes a person with emotional strength to swallow their pride and ask for help.

Here’s How to Ask for Help When You Feel Silly to Do So.

  1. They Don’t Hold Themselves Back
    Self-handicapping is a common trait among emotionally weak people. What this means is you make excuses and find ways to justify your inadequacies instead of finding ways to improve on them. If you want to change something, stop holding yourself back.
  2. They Don’t Mind Working Harder Than Others
    “The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.” –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Soak in these poetic words from Longfellow. Put in the work, and you’ll get the results you’re looking for.

  1. They Don’t Overreact to Things Beyond Their Control
    Charles Swindoll said,

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”

Think about how many times a day you overreact to things that really don’t matter. When you start to feel your blood boil, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Is this really worth getting stressed out over?” Ninety-nine percent of the time, you’ll realize the answer is no.

People with emotional strength have developed a sense of mental balance that help them respond appropriately to each obstacle in their path.

  1. They Don’t Settle for a Mediocre Life
    Emotionally strong people don’t settle for mediocrity, even when times get tough. They strive to achieve greatness by setting goals, making plans, solving problems, and digging deep to find motivation each day.
  2. They Never Give up
    Being emotionally strong means staring adversity in the face, learning from your mistakes, and living to fight another day. I’ll leave you with this inspiring quote from Harriet Beecher Stowe:

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”

The Bottom Line
No one is born with emotional strength. It comes from years of struggle and working through difficult moments and emotions. People who have learned how to be strong emotionally didn’t get there because life was easy.

Learn from the points above in order to further develop your own emotional strength and fight for the life that you deserve.

how to become emotionally strong in a relationship

There are just challenges that cannot be fought gracefully and most of them often leave us emotionally scarred and wounded – and this story is true especially when it comes to the matters of the heart.

Relationship problems are normal in a romantic commitment but not everyone can handle the worst trials that sometimes come their way – all because they are not emotionally capable of being strong especially when it matters the most.

On the other hand, some people are impressively strong enough to get through the worst storms of a relationship while also managing to learn from the lessons that spring from them. How? By harnessing the power of knowing themselves better through a deeper understanding of the different emotional triggers and the strengths that can be derived from them.

Since strength will always come from within, it’s important that you and your partner know the right ways that will help you overcome every challenge that life throws at you. Here they are:

  1. First of all, answer these basic questions:
    What makes you happy? What makes you feel sad or angry? What are the things that often disappoint you?

The first step in discovering the emotional strength that lies within you is knowing the answers to these simple yet important questions especially if you’re a part of a romantic relationship. This is because knowing yourself better and identifying the things that can trigger your different emotional states can help you prepare for the unpredictability, risks and surprises of being emotionally attached to another person.

  1. Be flexible and learn to adapt to your environment.
    It doesn’t matter if you’re not mature enough to be a perfect partner in a relationship. What’s important is you have developed extraordinary flexibility to deal with the different circumstances that may come along the way. Passion, especially in young love, can often be volatile and your only way of taking control is by starting from within: Learn to adjust, to compromise and to be emotionally ready for whatever the situation demands.
  2. Take refuge in the things that make you happy.
    But don’t stay there for too long. In a relationship, you have to accept the good and the bad about your significant other and your relationship as a whole. Whenever you are faced with challenges that you feel too weak to handle, you can run to your comfort zone but never leave the love of your life to deal with the problem alone.
  3. Know yourself better by accepting what you are not.
    To be emotionally strong, you have to accept that you can’t be that ideal person for the one you love, vice versa. Otherwise, you’d be vulnerable to negativities that will eventually give birth to undying insecurity, a volatile emotion that has been proven to cause the most devastating breakup.

What matters the most is you both accept that you are not perfect but you both have the commitment to give whatever you can just to make it work.

  1. Have a little (or more) faith in your relationship.
    There is strength in having the ability to trust your partner and your relationship as a whole. You have to believe that both of you can stand the test of time as long as you both do your part. This faith in your genuine connection reflects how you view yourself as a person and how you can deal with circumstances that might make you question your significant other’s sincerity and commitment.

If you know deep inside that as long as you love each other and your bond is helping you both grow, then nothing can ever stop you from living the happiest life together.

  1. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
    There is strength in learning how to move on. Be kind to yourself especially when you find it hard to forgive your past mistakes. No one is perfect and as someone who is a part of a relationship with another person, your failures should not decide how you will live your life together. In other words, do not let these mistakes ruin what you have right now. Take the good and let go of the bad.
  2. Learn when to say NO – and be ready to deal with its consequences.
    There is also strength in learning when and how to say NO. Even if you’re in a relationship, you don’t have the obligation to do something that you’re not comfortable with. An emotionally strong person knows how to express disagreement; an emotionally strong partner knows how to deal with arguments in a constructive and productive way.
  3. Accept change as a part of the process.
    By accepting the inevitable, by opening yourself to the changes that life and love have to offer, you are preparing yourself for a stronger and firmer emotional foundation that can survive any storm. Change is a part of the process in both love and life and having the courage to face them head-on is one of the characteristics that only a few people managed to acquire.
  4. Never allow yourself to be silenced.
    In a healthy relationship, you have a voice and that voice must be heard especially when it’s needed. Never allow yourself to be silenced just because you think you’re younger, inexperienced or weaker. There is strength in expressing your thoughts and courageously standing your ground as long as you know that what you’re doing is right.
  5. Stop hurting each other.
    There is strength in being able to figure out if the love that you’ve been giving someone is actually slowly killing you emotionally. Stop hurting yourself by believing in an unhealthy kind of relationship with someone who doesn’t even appreciate your worth. On the other hand, stop hurting your partner by doing things that can severe your connection instead of helping it grow stronger.

How to be Emotionally Strong in a Relationship
Photo by Gallila-Photo

  1. Learn to accept reality as it is.
    Lastly, there is emotional strength in having the courage to accept reality as it is. We cannot change the present and we can only imagine what the future holds but having the right attitude towards life can make all the difference.

Indeed, relationship problems and the inevitable heartaches that tag along can be depressing and devastating but just like other aspects of life, challenges are an essential part of the process. Learn to rise above it all – and these are all possible if you have carefully and patiently understood what it truly means to be emotionally strong as a person, as a lover and as a life partner.

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